Gratitude is all about attitude. Back when I was at the darkest of my depressed states (and the varieties are endless), it felt like I was living right next to happiness, like it was on the other side of some inter-dimensional veil that others could pass through and be their best selves, a place where the sun shone on them. But for me, it seemed like I was walking right next to it, struggling to keep pace with a happy version of myself, someone who was happy with where she was.
Then I realized I was guilty of the very thing I criticized in others: living for something outside of myself rather than stoking the fire inside. Thinking happiness was something that existed on the other side of the current version of myself was not only unfair to how hard I worked towards happiness but totally untrue. I knew I wouldn’t find happiness in a car or a job or a husband, but I never thought to turn it inversely: if I was not happy with who I was when I woke up with in the morning, I would never attract outer things that would make me happy. My attitude shifted to gratitude, and I knew it was societal standards that made me feel like I had less-then-others. I couldn’t see my own riches. All I had to do was look for them.
One of the biggest contributing factors to my depression was definitely alcohol abuse. I didn’t consider myself an alcoholic (now I know better), nor did my friends, some of whom still live in ignorance that a bottle of wine a night is actually not great for you. (Especially the cheap stuff!)
I digress; this post is about gratitude as a learnable attitude and how it brought me out of the dark and into the light. But it wasn’t easy. Years of evaluating my bad habits and replacing with healthy ones made me realize the single most important aspect of living a healthy lifestyle is this: If you are not happy doing what you are doing, it will kill you. And if you have to do something you don’t want to, hurry up and find the bright side. Because the closer your practice is to active gratitude (aka mindfulness vs. waiting in suspense for a future rewards), the better.
For example:
I don’t actually enjoy brushing my teeth. They are sensitive so my gums tend to bleed. I used to practice “future gratitude” by thinking about how my teeth would stay healthy for years to come. I’d visualize a bright white smile on a wrinkly old version of myself, but even that wasn’t enough. The habit would not stick. I’d still forget (30 years old here!), still hate the feeling, still wait for the ordeal to be over. Every. Single. Night.
After taking a moment to take stock of my situation and its lack of improvement, I realized I was using a cheap toothbrush and basic non-fluoridated toothpaste, so I upgraded to a soft bristle brush with rubber massagers and a CBD-infused toothpaste so it actually feels like a sensual experience each time I brush my teeth. Instead of being grateful for a future of healthy teeth, I’m having a positive experience each time I engage in the act. I now cannot wait to do my Morning and Night Routine and brush my teeth twice a day. Sometimes I even go for three!
Times and Places to Practice Gratitude:
There are endless opportunities to take a moment of gratitude. You can take one when you’re waking up, going to bed, sitting down to yoga or your first sip of coffee or a blank sheet of paper, before a meal, before a bath, the occasions are truly limitless.
There are many instances I choose gratitude, and funnily enough, the more I practice it, the more I find to be grateful for. Besides practicing gratitude before and after my daily yoga, Rigel and I consistently practice gratitude before each meal. It’s something anyone can do, religion can’t claim gratitude for food! Our prayer goes something like this:
I am grateful for this food in front of me.
Bless the Hands who made it,
The Hands who grew it,
And the Plants and Animals that lived and died
So I could live to see another Day.
I ask my Body to accept all the nutrition
This delicious Meal has to offer me
So I can make the World a better place:
Make It So.
Then I’ll draw a pentagram and deosil circle over my plate, and that’s it!
I like to imagine my words as rays of light that shine on to my plate in front of me, like the words I’m saying are imbuing my meal with blessings. Pronouncing Grace before a meal also prepares the body to receive food, to regulate the pulse and breath, and to allow any nervous tummy to relax. As we’ve begun eating this way, we’ve had little to no indigestion and our meals continue to surprise us with their robust and hyper-enjoyable flavors. I don’t gorge and my alcohol intake has definitely got under control.
When I am intentional about what goes in my body, I crave the “bad stuff” less and crave healthy food instead. It’s all about finding your happiness in the present moment. Where there is space to breathe, there is peace. The sacred place of peace is a magical moment waiting to happen.
If you are not happy doing what you are doing, living will kill you.
Here is an easy way to craft a prayer of thanks:
- Step 1 – Create a sacred space. Inhaling and exhaling for a cycle or holding hands is a great way to ground your energy and focus.
- Step 2 – Either aloud or internally, begin your prayer.
- Step 3 – Give thanks (either to a deity of your choosing or to the room) for whatever meal, animal, guitar, baseball game, child, home, etc you want to appreciate.
- Step 4 – If you have any asks, do so now. “I ask my body to absorb all the nutrition here” or “I ask this baseball bat to hit a home run every inning” or “I ask this home protect me and my loved ones”… you get the idea.
- Step 5 – Close with a mantra of your choosing. We like “Make it so!” after Jean-Luc Picard’s decisive command, but we know “Amen” and “So mote it be” are also popular choices. Remember gratitude is all about attitude!
